does anyone really want to know how i am?

It’s the universal greeting in most of the world, “How are you?”  We use it every day, multiple times a day, saying it unconsciously but (usually) not really meaning it and (usually) not really caring about the response we get from the other person. Most people utter an obligatory “Fine” move on, go about their day, and don’t give it a second thought. Does this sound like you in your normal daily routine?  Well, today I want to talk about if your inner sociopath took over for a moment or two and answered that question of  “how are you?” truthfully.  Would chaos ensue?  Would the world end? Would there be screaming in the streets?  Or would it just be a whole lot of fun?  I am challenging each of you to ponder this for a few seconds before you respond, but what would you say, if you answered this age-old question truthfully?

https://www.cnbc.com/2019/03/07/stop-asking-how-are-you-harvard-researchers-say-this-is-how-successful-people-make-small-talk.html

My inner sociopath giggles with delight when I think about all the shocking things on any given day, I would be excited to answer to “how are you?”  On any morning in the not-so-distant past I could have said one of the following:

1. Just great (sarcasm) my dog shit on the floor and I stepped in it while letting him out this morning but no worries, I have other shoes to wear
2. Happy to be alive because I tripped on my shoe (not the dog crap one) this morning and fell down a few stairs but it’s fine cause I didn’t hit my head (that hard)
3. Wonderful but don’t get too close cause I ran out of toothpaste, deodorant, and underwear at the same time!
4. Fantastic, cause I hate my job, my boss, my co-workers, my neighbors, my family and everyone on the planet, how are YOU?

Now how do you answer truthfully, can you handle the truth? If we are going to let our inner sociopath answer the “how are you?” question, we need to think about a few snappy answers that we can use when we get that blank stare or shocked look.  I like to think that person who asked me how I  was, wasn’t really listening to me so they might say, “that’s great, see you later!” Or if they REALLY weren’t listening, they would say, I’m good too and walk away because they assumed I had answered, “fine, how are you?” too.

On the other hand, we can go to the evil subtext model of answering. 

This is when you say one thing, I’m fine,

But you think another thing (evil subtext style),  you are wearing the ugliest dress I have ever seen and I ‘ve seen too many UG-LY dresses in my life, some worn by me!

Or I’m great,

But you are thinking, your new haircut is the polar opposite of great, it’s so not great that I can’t believe you left your house this morning!

And finally, you utter the obligatory, I’m fine, how are you?

But in your lovely sociopathic mind you are plotting your escape route because you are worried that they will say something other than fine, and you want to be gone before they finish speaking! LOL

We all have to try to be human and use kind words when we are interacting with other humans. If you were saying “how are you?” to someone that you really don’t want to have a longer conversation with, like your boss, your co-workers, your neighbors, your family, or really anyone on the planet, just say “fine” and it will be fine (except to your inner sociopath, because for them, it will never be just “fine!”)

In the end sometimes it’s better to just say “fine” because no one really cares or wants to know how you really are in that moment.  They were just saying hi and trying to get on with their day.

Tell me how you did not say fine after being asked how you were and what reaction you got. Did they stop and stare? Were they actually listening and seemed sympathetic? Did they say fine back?  I want to hear from you.