mind serial killer

Today I want to talk about serial killers in a fun, upbeat sort of way!  Maybe you are thinking, what??? Maybe you are thinking, I’m in and ready for the ride! Either way I am going there. Sometimes I am mad, in a serial killer kind of way.  Have you ever mentally killed someone?  I do it all the time or really, I have done it for years and years to be completely honest.  When my kids were little, I used to say, mommy doesn’t own a real gun because she would be in jail and grandma would be dead. There were a lot of people that would have been taken out over the years, so yes, I confess I am a mind serial killer. (Yes, I might be saying serial killer too much! No, this is not a cry for help!)*

My socio self doesn’t really like people so the leap from socio to mind serial killer wasn’t that difficult. I think when I was a teenager, going through the social experiment that we called “high school” I was a pretty active mind serial killer.  All the mean girls, some of the teachers, on any given day, it could be anyone I came into contact with, in my mind, were gone.  I think they call it compartmentalizing, in proper terms, but it works for me.

I said to someone the other day, “I don’t get revenge on people, I just stop caring about them and I’m fine.”  I guess that means I have mentally murdered them, and I move on. I am perfectly comfortable deciding that I no longer care about someone or something and then “poof” they are gone! Is this healthy? Not sure, you’ll have to ask the experts about that.  But for me it feels better, I am able to let stuff go and not worry about it anymore.  Did I really “murder” anyone?  Absolutely not and I never would IRL.  But in my socio mind they have ceased to exist, and I am no longer bothered by anything they do.

Let’s dig a little deeper here, how do you make the people who are getting on your last nerve go away?  IRL, it’s really hard. If it’s a family member, the answer might be never.  They will always show up at every family event, making you crazy.  Do you hope that you can stay on one end of the house while they remain on the other?  Ha! Good luck with that.  One time many years ago, I had my sister and two brothers who were not speaking to each other. I had a birthday party for my then 1-year-old and the biggest babies at the party were my feuding siblings.  I have to admit it was kind of fun watching them avoid each other, not speaking to each other, sidestepping around my house to avoid each other.  It was an odd little music-less dance that made me giggle.

 (Sung to hokey pokey) You put your sister in here, you put one brother in there, you put one brother in the kitchen, and you keep them all apart. You do the family shuffle, and you send them all away.  That’s what it’s all about! The party became all about keeping them apart and happy. It was an impossible dream. It took away from the purpose of the gathering, my 1-year old’s birthday. Just a few rounds from my imaginary .45 and it would have been a great party! 

Now let me be clear here. I do not own a gun IRL, and I would not want one.  I have no plans of murder.  I have never killed anyone. That’s the great part about being a mind serial killer. In my socio mind, it could be great fun. No one goes to jail. No one gets hurt.

In the wise words of Sublime,  “Mommy’s got a new Forty-Five” . “I guess my socio soul will have to wait.” Santeria.  LOL

*Advised to be added by my non-socio “try to be normal” advisor