my personal oubliette

There are many days in my socio life that I want to be alone.  Sometimes it’s all day, sometimes it’s for a few hours or even for a few minutes just to get away from all the noise in the world. I need to be alone in my own thoughts. I think it’s a trait of being introverted but it’s also a symptom of being socio.  

For those of you that are extroverts, you don’t get it. You thrive on the social interactions. (No thanks!) You get energized by having people around. (People no bueno!) For me I need alone time to recharge.  Staring at a white ceiling, meditating or just sitting quietly is what I prefer.  If find a place to hide I’m very happy.  I need my own personal oubliette.

I first heard the word oubliette in a movie, Labyrinth (1986), which starred a young Jennifer Connelly and David Bowie. I was fascinated with the oubliette. It’s based on the French word for “to forget” because people left in this dark pit with no doors were supposed to be forgotten.  (Oh happy day!) The only way in or out of the oubliette (say it again, one more time, it’s such a fun word!) was through a hole in the ceiling which is also the only source of light.

Since I don’t live in France, finding an oubliette to hide in is pretty much impossible. I have to improvise and create my own personal oubliette.  I think I can turn anything into an oubliette, and I have, lol. If you are like me and you need to find solace in a crazy, non-stop, everyone talking at you, noisy world, come with me on a journey to create our own personal oubliettes. Buckle up buttercup!

The first place that makes a great personal oubliette is your own bedroom.  Soft bed, dim the lights, lay down, stare at the ceiling.  No TV, no cell phone, disconnect from the world. If you have siblings, spouses or parents living in the house, don’t forget to LOCK THE DOOR! Be really quiet and maybe no one will notice that you have disappeared.  Oubliette heaven.

Another oubliette-like place can be a library.  No one really goes to libraries that much anymore, so you are less likely to run into a bunch of people that want to talk to you. SCORE! The great thing about a library, other than the books, is that they have lots of soft chairs and quiet corners that you can curl up into and disappear in an oubliette-ish way.  No one is allowed to talk, well not really, so you are guaranteed a mostly quiet, non-stimulating environment to recharge.  Make sure you put a book on your lap and pretend to read so no one knows you are basking in the joy of not being talked to. (Or they might think you are weird.)

My favorite personal oubliette is the toilette, also a French word meaning bathroom. I used this “toilette oubliette” recently when I was at an event.  There was nowhere else to go (not literally) to get away from the many people that I found myself surrounded by.  I needed a few minutes to get away from all the noise. Nothing was wrong, I just needed a quiet space alone to recharge. Well, first I discharged, (seemed like the right place) and then I recharged. Nice quiet corner stall, no extra light, water running quietly in the background, the occasional rhythmic flush of a toilet.  Oubliette c’est bon! I went to my personal oubliette every day that week and no one found me! Success. The nice thing is you can find the oubliette toilette just about anywhere and I have! LOL.

My last suggestion for your personal oubliette is your headphones, or ear plugs complimented by a sleep mask (when appropriate).  You can create your own oubliette just about anywhere, on a plane, in an airport, at school, in your office, the possibilities are endless.  

As a final note, I guess you could do the reverse and use your oubliette for removing the people in your space or face, dropping them down the hole and then forgetting about them forever. Feels kind of wrong, but also kind of fun in an old fashioned “that’s what you get” kind of way…..a little more socio than I want to be. Time to retreat to my toilette oubliette and come back a little calmer, emptier and ready to rejoin the rest of the world. Maybe….