happy vd

This is a special edition of  “grow up to be socio” about Valentine’s Day but a bit darker.  I like to call it VD to play a few mind games with those who know me. For those of you who don’t know me, away we go. Let’s start with the modern version now known as STI, the disease formerly known as STD, and before that (in days of yore) VD. If you are  wondering why someone would take the time to rename these types of diseases, I did too.  Google AI gave me a few answers including that VD and STD had more stigma so STI was created to make it more clinical.  OK.  It was a “rebrand” of sorts to make people more comfortable coming forward to get tested. OK. Did the new “fun” name make anyone happier to have it?  I think not. But no matter how you look at it, there is a lot of dark ironic history about VD, in both the holiday form and the infectious disease form.  Let’s take a closer look.

VD, as in the holiday we celebrate on February 14 every year, has a dark origin that dates back to ancient Rome, which is exactly why a socio like me is amused.  In ancient Rome, the Romans celebrated the feast of Lupercalia. The men would sacrifice goats and dogs, then take the hides of these animals and whip the women with them.  WTF! Feels kind of made up, but I found several sources that believe this was true.  It gets worse (or crazier depending on your POV), so let me go on.  The men, who would get drunk and naked, had the women line up to be hit with the dead animal hides to make them fertile. WTF! Then they had a matchmaking lottery where the men would pick a woman’s name out of a jar and “couple up”. (Kind of a modern day “hook up” at a wild party?)  Double WTF!

VD, again as in the holiday we celebrate, was sort of, kind of mixed up with a few guys named Valentine who were executed on February 14 and were honored by the Catholic Church with sainthood and the celebration of Valentine’s Day.  At some point Lupercalia and St Valentine’s Day were combined to get rid of the pagan fertility ritual that it was in the past (no more naked drunk guys beating women, and hooking up, hooray!) as the Catholic Church was trying to replace the holiday with a more Christian version.  Probably a good idea, lol.

Now let’s take a look at the other VD, as in venereal disease, aka STD, sexually transmitted diseases, and AKA the modern day term, STI, sexually transmitted infections. I know, this is a whole big bag of fun (in a creepy way) to make your VD (Valentine’s Day) special. I don’t think there is anything I could do to make VD/STD/STI special. But I’m going to try.

Let’s start with the origin of VD, as in venereal disease. The name came (no pun intended) from the Romans too, named after the god of love, Venus. It was named after Venus because of the connection between infections and sexual activity. Awkward.  Some of the “fun” names  that were used for VD, were “Cupid’s disease”, “Cupid’s itch” or “Venus’s curse”. So it’s totally related to the other VD, Valentine’s Day. Those Romans knew how to have a good time. Are we having fun yet? 

It gets much better(ironically), funnier and I could not make this stuff up, I swear. Let’s dig a little deeper. How about we start with Gonorrhea?  (Well no one wants to start with Gonorrhea or end with it, but I am going to go on anyway.)

Gonorrhea has a nickname that sounds funny with some very funny origin stories.  It is called “the clap.”  Let’s pause for a little quiz and see if you can guess where the term “the clap” originated.

1. From the French term clapier meaning brothel or rabbit hutch, or the phrase les clapier referring to areas where prostitutes lived
2. From the days before antibiotics, when men would try to treat gonorrhea by slapping their junk against a board or clapping it between two hands to force out the infected discharge, ewwwww
3. From an old English word, clappen, which means “beating or throbbing” which is one of the symptoms of gonorrhea, throbbing in the genital area.

(Answers will be at the end of the blog)

Moving on to the next STI, let’s talk briefly about syphilis.  It is a little ironic to talk briefly about syphilis because in reality it lasts forever, it can lie dormant for a long time and then it’s too late to treat it.  Wow, I am really making this VD (Valentine’s Day) special for everyone! Syphilis has been called many things over the years, “the great pox”  being the original name.  Soon after, anyone who got syphilis decided to blame another country that they didn’t like for giving them syphilis.  Italians called it “the French disease”, the French called it “the Neopolitan disease” (not for the ice cream but for Naples, Italy), Russians called it “Polish disease” while the Poles called it “the German disease.” Talk about the playing the blame game!  I love it! I think blaming another country for bad stuff still exists today. Think POTUS. Ready for the next quiz?  

Many famous people had syphilis.  I’m not sure how or why it was so well known when someone had syphilis, feels like something we should not be sharing.  Which of the following people in history had syphilis:

1. Vincent van Gogh, Abraham Lincoln, Adolf Hitler
2. Al Capone, Oscar Wilde, Catherine the Great
3. Michael Jackson, Picasso, Osama bin Laden

History aside, let’s pivot to something a bit less infectious and a little more festive. Let’s talk about the day after VD, February 15^th. This day is known as Singles Awareness Day. It is a little bit like an anti-VD movement, but more of a celebration of being single or a reminder that you don’t need to be in a relationship to have a happy life. Unfortunately the acronym (S.A.D) is not the best, but ironically I think it is very funny. And this is just a reminder for those who don’t like VD (holiday or otherwise, like me) don’t be SAD when you are celebrating SAD on February 15^th.  Celebrate yourself!

https://www.daysoftheyear.com/days/singles-awareness-day/

At the end of the day, when it comes to VD, I hope you got good stuff, and didn’t need to clap anything.

Answers to quizzes-

Question 1- answer a, b, & c all have been cited as the origin of the term “the clap”.

Question 2- answer b, these 3 were confirmed (not sure how) to have had syphilis, a) these 3 were just rumored to have had syphilis but never confirmed, c) I made these up, none of these 3 have been known or rumored to have had syphilis.