signs of mad-ness

Today I want to talk about insanity as it relates to anger.  Have you ever been in a situation when someone is so angry they go from mad to madness in an instant? Right in front of your eyes, in real time?  What do you do? What can you say? How do you get out of it? Do you run? Do you hide? Well, it’s time for a story. Hold on to your panties and away we go.

You are having a nice day. The sun is shining. Hair looks great. You find yourself talking to someone and everything seems fine.  Normal, (for a socio like me that’s saying something) and fine. All good, no issues, no problems, no worries. There are a bunch of adult-ish people (or so you thought) in a group and you are having a nice conversation (wait for it) and then suddenly it becomes a dumpster fire.

Wait…

What??

What’s happening?

WHAT FRESH HELL IS THIS???

Suddenly it’s insane!!!  You are shocked.  You want to laugh, but you also want to cry.  You want to run away, but you kind of want to see how this plays out. You feel like you were sucker punched, but you definitely want to get a few punches in while you have the chance. It’s a train wreck in progress and you can’t look away.  So, when you are trapped on the train speeding out of control, what do you do?

In the spirit of me helping you work your way through these types of unfortunate situations (cause I am really quite the giving little socio) I want to show you some red flags that will let you know when something is about to go off the rails.  And now, using my (slightly) deranged socio point of view to help us along, let’s have some fun!

ACTION!

When someone stops talking mid-sentence-They are MAD

When someone yells “I am NOT mad”-They are MAD

When you ask someone if they are mad, and they say, “You asking me if I am mad is making me mad!”-They are MAD

When someone repeats the same phrase over and over (and over) that you said a few minutes earlier but uses it as a weapon of verbal assault-They are MAD

 “Five hot minutes, five hot minutes, WHAT DO YOU MEAN FIVE HOT MINUTES!”

When someone’s voice goes 5 octaves higher than normal and they are screeching while all the color drains from their face-They are MAD

When someone turns away from you mid-sentence, walks away, turns around, comes back, says nothing and then does it all again-They are MAD

When someone says sadly-madly, “maybe I’m not the right person for this”- They are MAD

When someone is screaming at you one second, then whispering in hushed tones, then screaming, then whispering, then looks at you with crazy eyes-They are MAD

When someone says, “I’m not mad, I’m disappointed.”-They are MAD

When someone has an RBF and you have a STU (seeking to understand) face (trying not to giggle)-They are MAD

When everyone stops talking, no one is blinking and suddenly you feel like you are having an impromptu staring contest, again with crazy eyes-They are MAD

When someone tells you “We are done!”-They are MAD

When someone is chasing you down the street because they “just want to talk to you” and you are hiding behind a tree so they don’t find you-They are MAD

And last, but very, very important, I cannot emphasize it enough…

When someone tells you not to call for help (when you think you might really need it)-They are MAD and CRAZY!  CALL FOR HELP AS FAST AS YOU CAN! (and start running)

And now I’M DONE! but not mad.

Ode to Dexter, Tuesday, Joanne and le canard